Tuesday, August 30, 2011

How far we have come and I still don't trust enough!!

I posted this same thing on my facebook page but I need a constant reminder so I thought I would post it here too!
As I stop and look back over everything God had brought me through in these past 14 years, I am ashamed of myself! After all God has done for me, how could I ever doubt him? What is wrong with me that I wouldn't just believe and trust that He would take care of me?
14 years ago I left my parents home and protection alone and set off to a new place to which I had never been... Joliet, Illinois. I fought that move for a full year before I finally gave in. The day my parents left and I was truly alone , I was shattered. God was watching out for me then even though I didn't know it! If I had not taken that scary step of faith, I never would have met Dan... Which takes me to the next part of my journey...
December, 1997, I accepted a marriage proposal from the man of my heart, Daniel Basham. That was a step of faith because we had NO idea where God was going to take us and what we were going to do. We searched and prayed for God's plan and in the spring of 1998 we accepted the call to Paddock Lake Baptist Church in Wisconsin..... Next part of the journey....
We didn't have much in Wisconsin but we were young and in love and we really felt God working in us! Then, the unexpected news in November .... We were expecting our first child! That was certainly faith-shaking! If that wasn't enough, 3 months later we were informed that Dan's position was being terminated.. Where would we go? What would we do? Where was God in all of this? More worry but God continued to lead and care for us. We moved to Greenville, South Carolina when I was 8 months pregnant and moved in with Dan's sister while Dan looked for work and we waited for our baby to arrive! Karyss Sofia graced us with her entrance on July 22,1999. Dan found a job and we moved into our own little place. He stayed with that job until he was terminated without a good reason... Again, Lird? Here we were dependent upon God for every step. He continued to provide for us through our wonderful family, church family and in many other ways. Three more more jobs came and went in the next two years and yet we never went hungry or homeless! Again, I was not trusting!!! When will I learn?
When Karyss was 3 years old we received a call from a Christian school on the area looking for teachers. Somehow they heard about us, we never found out how! We were nervous but accepted this as God's will and set out to teach again. It was wonderful and we loved it therebut we again were told the devastating news that they could not afford to keep us on past that year and we were jobless again!
New journey, one month later the Pastor of Dan's parents' church called and offered us positions at their Christian school. This was a long distance move but we had no alternatives and felt it was God's leading so we went. God, again, worked out every detail and yet at the end of that school year the Pastor decided to close the school! We were unemployed again! You would think by this time we would be used to it but we were blindsided each time! It was scary and worrisome and I did not have trust like I should have! We went to several churches and schools and finally wound up in garden City, Michigan. This was a rough year both financially and personally. How could we be surprised when the Pastor told us (again) that they couldn't afford to keep us on after that year? But we were . This was a longer stretch of uncertainty but finally in September of 2005 we came to Pine Grove Baptist Church in Stockbridge, Georgia. Smooth sailing ahead right??WRONG!! Five days after we moved here Dan became seriously ill and the Pastor's wife had to help me take him to the hospital! This was the most fear I have ever known! I was alone! I barely knew anyone here and yet the church people became my family and came alongside me! They should me God's presence! It was very serious and the doctors were unsure but finally were able to take care of him with a lengthy surgery! God was with me ! I never could have made it through that dark time without Him! What a way to start a new ministry!!! We have been here for almost 6 years now and we have had many ups and downs. One of our "ups" was the arrival of our son Riley in December of 2006 after many years of praying for another child. We have faced many different uncertainties both financial and otherwise.. God is faithful! He will take care of us! He will provide!! I must trust Him!
God please help me to trust you!!!

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